My little blue book

So at the beginning of this year I invested in a little blue notebook that would be like a personal diary for my thoughts and random idea. I only recently stumbled upon it the other day when cleaning out the boot of my old car, I thought I might take photos of some of the pages in the book and upload them, a lot of them are random and I can not remember how I thought of them, there are some drawings and a couple 'facts' that I have jotted down. My original writings of the texts I have uploaded are contained in this book, and the pictures don't work if I only type them up, another reason for uploading them. So enjoy =]

Hide and Seek

It seams as though the whispers transformed into large, intense bursts of energy, invading my thoughts until I am over run, out of control and pushed to oblivion. You own my mind, my mind is a mess, a storm swept aside, demolishing everything that is not you. I want you, to know, to hear, to feel, to share, to create, to find them.
Feeling is not an option, I am here to persevere, survive, live and die am I not? Fool is what they hurl at me, who goes there? It is dark in that space there, my vision of you is unclear, his face no longer brightens the room, I am scared. In search of you I stumbled upon a truth, it laughs at the fool and slaps me with my own knowledge, it is not you that owns my mind, it is my mind that owns the though of you, it is and option, and I have chosen to fill my thoughts with you. I no longer claim fool, my eyes open to bright lights, it was never dark in here, I push the mirror out of my path and behind my reflection I found you.

Dreams of night terrors

Distracting lust lured me into the realm in which chaos consumed your limbs. Distaste fills my senses, fuelled with faith in hope for us, I ventured through the trenches of hate, the jungle of fear and the valley of loss only to be pushed beyond the threshold that contains my sanity. Devoured by chaos I fought my way into the stomach of the foul beast to retrieve you, I put my life to extremities to retrieve the very thought of you, as a final pledge of my love for you I tore out my heart and smothered chaos with that love for you. Deprived of my infinite heart and eternal faith in hope for us, we escaped the dark realm of chaos in each others arms, only to be woken by a smothering blanket and sweat ridden body. Dreaming of you again.

Silence

If the trees could talk they would scream out for help, they would call your name and hope for an answer. They would succeed in where I have failed, they would spread my word until it got to your doorstep, they would tell you what I never had the guts to say. They would tell of how yours is the face that haunts my mind. I can only hope that one day these trees will talk, if only my voice could be heard with your eager ears, if only the trees could talk.

Abyss

When I look to the sky I fall into the hole that is your heart. I fall into an abyss of neglect and fear, it is dark in here and the corner is illuminated by my face plastered on the walls. I am alone with myself in your heart, I feel the pain that you are suffering, the pain of fear, fear of falling. But it was I that fell into the sky and landed in your heart, and here I stay, so what is there to fear?